Bibliophilia (20): They Both Die at the End


Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Damn. That was brutal in ways I can’t begin to describe. The kind of of books that leave you hiding in your room, because you would look so lame crying at your phone screen.

You venture into this story knowing full well how it ends (spoiler alert: they both die at the end), but when it comes, you’re never ready for it. No one is ever ready for death. And it broke my heart.

What would you do if you knew it was your last day to live?

2020 Review 🤷🏻‍♀️


I wanted to track my achievements in 2020, so I marked every hospital shift, every run, bike ride, swim, every book finished and every academic achievement. It’s been an eventful year! In 2020, I had:

– 75 hospital shifts.
– 69 runs/running-related activity.
– 30 bike rides.
– 12 swims.
– 1 academic achievement.
– 3 books finished (I planned to finish 100, but I forgive myself). 😀
– I did some yoga and strength training but failed to track the number.

So 2020 wasn’t the worst after all 🤷🏻‍♀️

So what did you achieve in 2020?

Like what you seeBuy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

All In Your Head: short stories about mental illness.


Picture9

Here’s my newest collection of short stories. The book is inspired by real people suffering mental disorders, and aims to raise awareness against stigma. I write this not only as a psychiatrist, but also as a patient.

The first story in this book is mine.

To read the book, follow this link or click the book cover.

P.S. If you have a Wattpad account, I’d appreciate your votes and comments on my book. 🙂

25 things to do before turning 25!


Source: Google images.

Alright, let’s do this again! Here are some unaccomplished items from last years list:

1. Finish my novel(s).

2. Reach my ideal weight.

3. Eat clean for at least a month without cheating.

4. Build abs.

5. Run regularly for at least 3 months.

6. Complete half a marathon.

7. Buy a heart rate monitor/fitness tracker.

8. Learn to dance.

9. Earn drivers’ license.

10. Read 100 books at least, and re-read the Qur’an.

11. Complete Duolingo‘s French course.

12. Play guitar.

13. Volunteer in a cause.

14. Fall in love.

15. Go skydiving.

16. Attend a live concert.

17. Inspire more people.

Now with brand new goals:

18. Become a psychiatrist.

19. Get or at least decide on a suitable postgraduate academic qualification.

20. Knit something.

21. Earn judo’s black belt.

22. Learn Photoshop.

23. Have my own credit card.

24. Buy something online.

25. Visit London.

24 things to do before turning 24: Review!


Source: Google images.

It’s time, again! Well, it’s been a messy year; though I had no exams to worry about, I haven’t crossed so many items off my list. They said medical interns have all the time in the world, but it turned out being the exact opposite! So anyway, of the 24 things I had to do before my 24th birthday (that’s today!), here’s what I’ve done.

.

1. Finish my novel(s): I’m almost done of my novel’s first draft, but still, it’s not 100% finished.

2. Win NaNoWriMo: Yay! I won! 😀

3. Scrub-in, preferably in an eye surgery: Scrubbed in Ob/Gyn, just for 5 minutes! Turns out surgery isn’t my thing after all.

4. Reach my ideal weight: Not yet, I’m ridiculously fluctuating.

5. Finish “Insanity” workouts without twisting any joints: I did twist many joints, so…

6. Learn to dance: No time!

7. Earn drivers’ license: Still procrastinating!

8. Read 20 100 books at least, including the Qur’an: Could barely read a few!

9. Speak French: Such a luxury!

10. Play guitar: LOL! I have the guitar, but that doesn’t count, does it? 😛

11. Volunteer in a cause:  I did volunteer at the hospital, but I’m not sure it counts, because it wasn’t charity, I was there to learn.

12. Fall in love.. or not: Not. *Sighs*

13. Pick a specialty: I’m 90% positive that I want to be a psychiatrist, so that’s something.

14. Prepare for a fellowship in the picked speciality: It’s not that easy, but I have a few plans.

15. Save a life: It wasn’t directly me, but I helped resuscitate many patients, some recovered, others died. But I like to believe I did save a life.

16. Run regularly for at least 3 months: I tried to make it regular, but shifts always happened! :/

17. Run half a marathon: Coming next April, so…

18. Buy a heart rate monitor/fitness tracker: Couldn’t yet afford.

19. Eat clean for at least a month without cheating: Hahaha! Epic fail!

20. Build abs: In progress, I like to believe.

21. Earn a belt in judo: I earned THREE BELTS! Yellow, Orange, and Green! (Yeah, I’m awesome!)

22. Go sky diving: Wasn’t that fortunate.

23. Attend a live concert: Not yet.

24. Inspire more people: It appears so. 🙂

25 things before turning 25 is coming soon! 🙂

White-coated ramblings: (7) Death happens.


Source: Google images.

Ever since my first shift at Internal Medicine rotation, I’ve accustomed myself to the fact that people die all the time; Internal Medicine  wards are the terminal station for the chronically ill, and I came to believe that Death lives in there. But I have always dreaded the moment I would witness someone die. It happened today.

In an Egyptian governmental hospital, It’s always the same scenario; relatives insanely knock your door asking you to come see the patient because he had “fallen silent”. He was an 80-something man with multi-system issues, and his pulse had gone unpalpable. My heart sank. My shift had almost ended, and I was there, on my own. He was on a wheelchair. Some worker should move him to a trolly so we rush him to the ER while I start CPR, but nobody was there. There’s only one working elevator at the floor that serves doctors, patients, and their relatives, so when arrests happen, you have to run to that one elevator and knock heavily shouting “arrest!” in order to get it as fast as possible. Meanwhile, the patient was still on the wheelchair, pulseless.

He got to the ER on the wheelchair, and CPR was started only when we moved him to a bed at the arrest room. I was afraid perhaps he would die because I was too slow, but then after all, I was on my own, and I did all it took to rush him there. Things get easier at the ER, at least there are residents with more experience than a lonely house officer.

“It’s too late, let him die in peace.” The resident said after multiple cycles of resuscitation.I froze.

“Wait, there’s pulse, he came back!” Said the nurse. He did come back, and I wanted to hug him for that. I think I was the only one in the room who was very thankful. To be honest, a part of me didn’t want him to die in my shift.

Then he had gone once again, we resuscitated. He came back again, but then he had gone for good.

And there I stood, facing a dead man in a room full of people who bore no emotion for him. I don’t know why I held his hand for a moment, but I kept staring at him, a part of me hoping for another comeback, and the other part relieved it was finally over. An eerie feeling. But then, this is life, and death happens.

White-coated ramblings: (5) It pays off, doesn’t it?!


Breaking news: I got my first ever salary today!

But do you know how much an Egyptian fresh-graduate doctor makes monthly?

257 Egyptian pounds; that makes 36.11 dollars! Yes, I’m a doctor, but our maid makes triple my salary!

But it was never about the money, was it? *Sighs*

That’s for 2 months!

24 things before turning 24!


Source: Google.com

So, after all,  last year’s list wasn’t quite a failure. With studying and exams being eliminated this year, I hope I’ll have the time and space to meet all my goals this time.

Let me start with some items I couldn’t tick off last year:

1. Finish my novel(s).

2. Win NaNoWriMo.

3. Scrub-in, preferably in an eye surgery.

4. Reach my ideal weight.

5. Finish “Insanity” workouts without twisting any joints.

6. Learn to dance.

7. Earn drivers’ license.

8. Read 20 100 books at least, including the Qur’an.

9. Speak French.

10. Play guitar.

11. Volunteer in a cause.

12. Fall in love.. or not.

And now with brand new goals:

13. Pick a specialty; I haven’t yet determined whether I should be an ophthalmologist or a psychiatrist.

14. Prepare for a fellowship in the picked specialty.

15. Save a life.

16. Run regularly for at least 3 months.

17. Run half a marathon.

18. Buy a heart rate monitor/fitness tracker.

19. Eat clean for at least a month without cheating.

20. Build abs.

21. Earn a belt in judo.

22. Go sky diving.

23. Attend a live concert.

24. Inspire more people.

What’s on your list this year??

iRun: (2) It gets better!


Capture

You might already know that my last run was an utter failure. However, on the bright side, I’ve been running since then 2-3 times weekly. A friend recommended this “C 25K” app, and it helped a lot. So, last Friday was “Cairo Runners” wake-up run (a 8K route), and I needed to test my progress.

Well, last time I ran a Kilo and walked the rest, this time I ran around half the route. That’s something!

23 things before turning 23: Review!


Source: Facebook.

So, in case you haven’t already stumbled upon my list, I had until my 23rd birthday (yesterday) to cross these 23 things off. I haven’t fulfilled half the list, but I’m pretty satisfied with what I managed to meet. 

  1. Finish my novel(s): I’m not proud to declare that my “Work In Progress” is still in progress, but in my defense, senior year ate up both my time and energy.
  2. Win NaNoWriMo: Same as above, plus, my finals started in November!
  3. Scrub-in: Preferably in an eye surgery: Didn’t happen! :/
  4. Score an A in at least one subject: Now this sounds ridiculously hilarious, because my score, in fact, has dropped big time! I’m so grateful that I actually passed, and thank God my cumulative score went unaffected.
  5. Be among the top 1st 500 students in my class: LOL! Okay, let’s say I managed to cling to the top 791! (My class is around 1500).
  6. Reach my ideal weight: Well, I’m happy to announce that I’m halfway there.
  7. Finish “Insanity” workouts without twisting any joints: I didn’t, but I finished 2 rounds of Turbo Jam, and 2 rounds Body Beast! That’s definitely SOMETHING!
  8. Learn to swim.
  9. Learn another sport: Started Judo a month ago. 😀
  10. Learn to dance: Not yet!
  11. Improve my photography skills.
  12. Earn drivers’ license: Still postponing! :/
  13. Read 20 books at least, including the Qur’an: Finished only 5! 😦
  14. Inspire someone(s): Well, some friends claim that I did. 😀
  15. Speak French: In progress.
  16. Play guitar: I wasn’t that lucky..
  17. Bake a successful cheesecake: Done, more than once! 😀
  18. Go skating: Not yet.
  19. Climb a mountain, scuba-dive or jump with a parachute: My most precious achievement! Check this post!
  20. Volunteer in a cause: Not yet.
  21. Join a book club: I did actually create one. Wanna join?? Here!
  22. Visit brand new places without traveling abroad: Go to number 19.
  23. Fall in love: I wasn’t that fortunate.

Coming soon: 24 things before turning 24!